Awaiting Dawn

     Most of us work for days waiting for dawn to wave its wand over our lives.

When it does, however, its seldom what we envision the way we envision it.

On the contrary, dawn often sends darkness to help us develop our greatness.

Yet, in expecting light we routinely sleight ourselves, others also.

In fact so much of what we envision opposes the mission for which we were born. Hence our tendency to feel cheated and shorn of opportunities that come freely to others.

Even so, dawn has a reason and we have a mission. In discovering this, we turn darkness into greatness instead!

Your Guess List

 

 

How long is your guess list? Everyone has one, whether they admit it or even know it or not. This list outlines all those things that failed to thrive in our lives, including ourselves routinely, because it’s natural to wonder why things turn out meanly as they do.

Yet rightly used, guess lists are designed to deepen our trust and our ability to understand what truly matters to us. As this becomes clearer, our lists become shorter and our steps surer. Certain things will remain, even as others are added. T

he difference, however, is in our savvy, because so much of what we question and complain about is insignificant once we figure out what truly matters.

 

 

EASY

 

It’s easy to be easy on ourselves. But with each stroke we forfeit our hopes and break our hearts, diminishing also our flame and spark. Those who excel give themselves hell, metaphorically speaking, lest they be content with average. Their idea of easy makes it hard for them to stroke themselves. They aren’t reckless but they are relentless.

 

OUR CONTRIBUTIONS

 

OUR CONTRIBUTIONS

Our contributions are often invisible but this doesn’t mean that they aren’t valuable. Unfortunately, however, ours is an age wherein value is valid only when it is known, professionally especially.

So, we obsess over who gets the credit rather than on making the contribution that we should, sharing ourselves freely to help others with achieving their goals.

Doing so makes sense; it also makes society insatiable and insensitive to those whose efforts aren't announced on the news or in the next company bulletin.

Unless these souls are strong they will get the sense that they don’t belong or that their contributions don’t matter.

To prevent this, we should be diligent in discovering those hidden heroes whose actions enhance organizational life. They remain unsung only because they are unsought.

As leaders, managers and persons, our job is to promote others and to provoke greatness in all of its degrees. In doing so, we strengthen relationships, energize organizations and encourage these hidden heroes to contribute without feeling unappreciated.

Make it your task to find one today!

PAUSE, CAN YOU?

 

 

Sometimes we must pause, retracting the claws we use to climb towards success, embracing the moment without design or distress. Otherwise we will continue to be anxious and thankless, annoyed daily and hard unnecessarily on ourselves. Unfortunately, however, most of us confuse pausing with passivity.

So we work without rest thinking that doing so will help us to accomplish our goals faster. Yet this logic is toxic, personally, emotionally and relationally, leaving our spouses to wonder and our children to watch as we work ourselves out of meaningful relationships with them because of an undisciplined desire to provide for them.

Moreover, in refusing to pause we forfeit the power of renewal, which would help us achieve our goals by giving us greater clarity and more energy for our tasks. Yet we choose to labor beleaguered by fatigue because of some misguided notion of self-determination. It’s okay to be determined, driven, even, but neither annuls the need to be renewed, to pause and reflect rather than to push and act indefinitely (often detrimentally).

In this regard, pausing isn’t passivity, complacency or indifference. It simply means that we recognize the need to suspend our efforts without accusing ourselves of abandoning them. Besides, we won’t arrive any faster than we do no matter how we construe our efforts. So, relax, reflect and let time do what only it can. Your loved ones will be glad you did!

 

THE END!

 

Though most of us won’t admit it, we are secretly inhibited (and anxious) about our end, desiring to know when it will end. Maybe that’s why we lose ourselves setting goals and courting greatness. Beyond the natural need to nurture our time and talents, we also do so to help maintain our balance, which is more elusive than we admit.

Even so, we are deeply concerned about our end; not, however, simply about the outcome of our efforts but more so about what happens when life has left us. This concern inspired existentialism, fatalism and every other historical ism. It also inspired the wisdom of the sages as revealed through the ages. A sense of mortality instinctively produces such when we allow it to touch us in ways we routinely deny and ignore.

Then we ask ourselves, “What am I doing this for?” Though rhetorical, this question is also rewarding because it forces us to fix our gaze beyond the ways we devise to achieve our goals and the privileges we hope to gain when we succeed. Thus, some people pursue religion for answers; others pursue pleasure instead, seeking to silence the interrogations that inspired Kierkegaard’s dread.

Even so, we want to know about our end, when it will end. Some of us may even want to know how and where it will end. To deny this inquiry as natural is to make detachment inevitable. How can we rightly relate to others when we are indifferent to ourselves about what matters most? In fact the quality of our lives is determined by the degree to which we have embraced our mortality.

Unfortunately, some people become ruthless and aimless in response. Others become ambitious and obsessed. Yet no goal or gain can censor mortality whether or not we respond. The time will come when we will be disarmed and must answer or perhaps ask, as did the Psalmist, “O’ Lord, help me to understand my mortality and the brevity of my live! Let me realize how quickly it will end.” (39:4)

Unlike many of us, William Shakespeare refused to ignore or deny the sovereignty of mortality. In fact he confessed, perhaps as an antidote, “I have immortal longings in me.” Maybe Shakespeare’s willingness to confront his mortality immortalized his writings. Maybe that’s why he was able to embed creatively what he couldn’t embody existentially. Maybe our work would be more enduring if we weren’t in denial about our mortality. Maybe we could increase our force if it were rightly faced.

Aptly embraced, legacies and legends result, depending upon our influence. But even if we never achieve this status, our lives will be more authentic because we confronted our mortality. Maybe facing it would make us more cheerful and charitable also. If we understood just how quickly our lives do end, no matter how long we live, maybe we would be the difference that makes the difference in the lives of others before nature pulls the covers.

 

CLOSE...

 

Things get easier as we keep aiming towards our goals. It may not seem like it because we aren't always as clear as we imagine on what these are. We generally have more ideas than we do exacts. Ideas get us started but exacts keep us going (and committed). They also enable us to accelerate our pace, and to recognize our place when we reach it.

Consider, for example, driving to a destination, maybe even somewhere you've been before but you aren't exactly sure of where it is. You have a general idea instead, enough to convince you to get in your car and drive. After a while you find yourself in the vicinity but not at your destiny (destination).

Thus, you may feel anxious or excited or even annoyed because you know you are close. You even have a strong idea of where you are but you aren’t where you want to be. Hence the importance of clarity, whether in driving cars or pursuing goals. Here we see clearly the difference between exacts and ideas. Our success is routinely determined by our degree of clarity regarding our goals and dreams. Without clarity we occupy the vicinity but don't reach the destiny we desire.

Today, so many people are vexed by vagueness and victims of the indefinite. They lack the ability to say clearly what they want. Of course this doesn’t mean that they can’t succeed because they can. In fact, sometimes in being too precise we miss opportunities when they emerge because we lack the urge to pursue them, especially if they contradict our conceptions.

Generally, however, clarity is a prerequisite for success. We must be able to express clearly what we desire deeply. In this regard, failure to achieve is often a failure of clarity. Clarity is the ability to express clearly our goals without being clouded or constrained by contingencies. If we can’t express this to ourselves, we will have trouble expressing it to others also, which will hinder their ability to help us.

That’s why it’s important to take time to ask ourselves, “What am I really after; what are my true goals.” Answering this anchors us in our pursuits. It also increases our confidence and changes how others experience us. Clarity enables us to be decisive and assertive rather than tentative and timid. Consider again how we drive when we aren’t sure of where we are or where we are going. In these instances, having an idea isn’t the same as having an exact, practically or emotionally.

Clarity, however, isn’t something we get once and for all. On the contrary, it accrues over time as we take time to assess where we are and what we want. Otherwise we will get in the vicinity without reaching our destiny as we desire.

 

 

 

GETTING TO YES!

A book entitled, Getting to Yes, appeared several years ago. It focused on the art and science of negotiation, and how to make beneficial compromises as we each pursue our peculiar aims. As used in this article, however, getting to yes implies mastering the steps needed to experience the greatness deeded in your soul. Once you do this, you experience the bliss of an unmuffled yes! As simple as it sounds, to get to yes you must first say YES to yourself and your dreams.

So many people are wedged between no and maybe instead. They lack the certainty that characterizes destiny. Destiny is the belief that your yes is your right to succeed and not just a wish to do so. If, however, you haven’t said yes to yourself and your dreams, uncertainty will stifle and you will stumble in getting started and in staying committed till the end. The way you get to yes is to not second-guess yourself or your right to success. This is much different from second-guessing your methods, your means and your maneuvers.

Unless you are omniscient you must change these routinely, sometimes remarkably, for various reasons. Second-guessing as it relates to tactics and strategy are part of the anatomy of greatness. It becomes detrimental, however, when you second-guess yourself. Hence the need to examine your assessments and assumptions, making sure you get to yes and stay there as it relates to your belief in your right to success and greatness. The key is in being decisive and convinced without bowing to contingents.

Things will happen, plans will fail and people will change their minds about you. You, however, shouldn’t change your mind about yourself. Once you get to yes by agreeing with yourself, stay there! Whenever you find yourself feeling anxious and uncertain, don’t let these feelings push you into no and maybe regarding your dreams. Second-guess your tactics and strategy when necessary but not your right to and belief in your ability to achieve your dreams. In doing so, you make better and more beneficial compromises with other and yourself.

 

3 STEPS TO LIVING A LIFE OF GREATNESS

     All of us are fascinated by greatness whatever its form, sports, entertainment and even gardening! We love to see people doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways. We feel likewise when seeing extraordinary things being done in extraordinary ways. Something about the sight stirs our senses and provokes remembrances of when we entertained visions of our own greatness.  The good news is that you still have time to design a life of greatness if you are willing. You might not be able to achieve that NBA dream but you can do something that will pique your passion so that you can stop rehashing what might have been.

     The first step to living a life of greatness is to simply DECIDE that this is what you are going to do. Simple as it sounds, many people haven’t decided to live a life of greatness. They talk about it and are enamored by it but they never decide to commit to its pursuit. Characteristically, they are great fans but poorly focused when it comes to their dreams. The problem, however, isn’t a lack of focus but rather indecision. Once you decide, focus comes; plans form and magic follows provided you stay committed. Do it now and you will see how things change.

     The second step to living a life of greatness is DESIGN. You have to design what greatness looks like for you, not what someone else designs for you. Design is the art of greatness which, by the way, is just as important as the science. The great thing about design is that it’s so liberating. In fact design allows you to reflect (and promote) your quirks and your competencies –your unique lifestyle-- which becomes a life-statement of who you are. So, it’s okay to collect ideas, just as you would when furnishing a house or accessorizing your home.  But ultimately you must decide what your design will include, no matter how eccentric. Ignore naysayers because everything is impossible until it's done!

The final step to living a life of greatness is to DARE. You must dare to believe that your dreams of greatness are not only possible but that you are responsible for their fulfillment. This doesn’t mean that you have to stress but you should strive daily for success. Daring, moreover, shouldn’t be draining but charming instead because you never know what will happen as you go forward. That’s what makes life exciting! That’s what makes greatness fascinating. That’s why each of us pauses whenever greatness appears from some unlikely place. These achievers, DECIDED, DESIGNED and DARED to live a life of greatness. You can too; decide today to commit your way to living a life of greatness.

 

BE PASSIONATELY PATIENT AS YOU ARE MAKING IT HAPPENI

ENGAGING GREATNESS

 

If greatness is so engaging why are so many people faking pursuit?

 

          If you aren't willing to go it alone it's best to go on away from greatness toward what is the basis of convention. Consider, however, before you do what compromising will do to you. If after this you can reject the risk of greatness then you make compromise the basis of your life. Nothing is inherently wrong with compromise. After all somewhere daily a dreamer dies to her dream and the thing she once deeply desired. Yet so many people today seem to be faking, acting as if they are taking steps toward greatness. Even so, I understand because its demand often overwhelms. But those who are committed refuse to compromise still.

SETTLLING FOR SUCCESS

     Settlers do their best until circumstances push them to buy a piece of property they never intended. Doing so is hard to understand if you haven’t been winded by circumstances. If you have, then you understand the salve that settling provides, usually temporarily ultimately, because settlers still ogle at the tract they for which they could have traded. But the need to make a living became overwhelming. Secretly, however, they wish that they could bid of these premium parcels, especially after the salve no longer soothes. Then more than most they desire to move. Yet they are land-locked and grid-locked together because they didn’t read the fine print on their deed, which many traded for their dreams.

     The perks and peace this provides discourages them to becoming serious about buying another acre despite their desire to be greater. Their plight is hard to understand unless you have been wounded and overwhelmed. Inwardly, though, they know that they could’ve done better. But they could only take so much bad weather, bad news, and the high dues associated with pursuing success. So they settled to save themselves the hassle of trying to haggle with it. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t successful. It just means that life was more stressful than they could bear. Thus they bought a plot and cast their lot with their neighbors who also chose to settle. Meanwhile a small few are deeply mired in trying to acquire the peculiar piece and thus refuse to cease until it is theirs. Whenever they consider settling, success dares and greatness draws them beyond themselves.

SILENCE PLEASE!

     Who do you call when desire gnaws and time stalls, indifferent to your desire despite the fire that inflames? What do you do when you’ve said your prayers (and a few swears) yet things remain and desire pains beyond expression? Have you ever experienced this depression, the kind that cuts, carves and consumes leaving nothing but more room for itself? Do you know what it’s like to spend your life waiting for the knife to be pulled from your back or trying to find a way to extract the desire that drives you on? If not, you can’t understand when greatness groans. On the contrary, you are apt to confuse its angst with an unwillingness to give thanks for all things. Perhaps this is true of some people. But there are those that, after they’ve exhausted gratitude, they still remain undone and prone to brood. What do you tell these? Do you have the words to ease what aches? If not, be thou silent in the presence of the great though they have yet to make their appearance or gain clearance to ascend as they intend.

A NORMAL LIFE

          A normal life isn’t the type that leads to greatness. Normal in fact is its nemesis, especially during the genesis when Destiny decides who will ride success’ heights. Then while others sleep, we work through the night, often against our wills because of what Destiny wants to reveal to others to help them discover their own potential.

          The task is compounded because we lack credentials other than uncommon courage and desire indomitable, the combination of which makes us formidable. Characteristically formidable is fundamental to success. Without this we will wish rather than work as we should, especially when circumstances stifle. But that’s when we should reload our rifles, metaphorically speaking, and become even more determined to obtain what we are seeking.

          So many people, though, let circumstances make them fold. Yet these same souls will watch the Olympics and ignore the template for success that they illustrate because every contestant endured something adverse solely for the opportunity to become great. In failing, however, the passive enthrone normal and berate the banal; indifferent to how their indifference controls both the channel and the flow of their lives.

         Others assert that it’s too late because they don’t know how to become vicariously great by supporting others in their dreams. Even so, life has innumerable schemes and designs that can help us achieve what we have in mind. Yet the character of a normal life we must first be willing to decline. If we do this and diligently persist, our gifts will grow and our talents will eventually show themselves, taking us we know not wheres!

If we don't fulfill our promise we owe others an apology.

        If we thought the impossible were so, life would cease. Yet none of us believes in the impossible.  We acknowledge it but we don’t believe in it. To believe in the impossible is to reject our passion. Yet our passion stirs us nightly and sustains us daily. The moment we believe in the impossible life passes. Only by rejecting its myth do we master.

THE PROPOSAL

By the time we are in the mood, success has moved along or perhaps changed its mind about us. Hence, the time we spend courting and craving its attention, only to become suspicious of its intentions. We want a commitment but it wants a minute to consider our proposal. By the time it decides we have changed our minds, committing to failure instead.

FACTORING FEAR

Fear is often the factor ill-figured.

I just talked with a guy whose a lawyer by training and ambitious by nature. At 51 he's still striving to do the dream. In listening to him, however, I was reminded of the importance of having a sense of destiny. That's what his conversation lacked. He's read all the books and knows how to befriend people, but his sense of destiny is dulled, because in doing the dream he's too open to opportunity. So, he goes to meetings "just in case," or to inquire curiously.

Nothing's wrong with being curious. Everyone should strive to be so. Opportunities likewise should be explored. But once you've marketed yourself through all the nebulous networks when do you learn? When do you transition and become the opportunity that you seek? If destiny is anything, it is opportunity. Otherwise we're doomed to dream. Developed, however, a sense of destiny makes us the opportunity that others seek.

Then we cease being courtiers and become courted instead. Yes, we may still need their resources to fund our resolve. But a sense of destiny redirects, enabling the resourceful to see us as instruments of change rather than as aspirants of opportunity. Thus they willingly offer what we desperately need. So few, however, know this way because most are too anxious.

They don't know who they are or what they have. So, they let opportunity overthrow. The rest are too impatient and pawn their integrity. They aren't inherently immoral, just ethically misguided, which is why so few reach their place without being impugned. Only a sense of destiny grants this grace. In covering us so, we avoid the errors created by the lure of opportunity in a land of opportunists.

OUR DREAMS

We pursue until we possess or become discouraged and change our minds.

Why do we wait so long to pursue our dreams? What makes us indefinite procrastinators? How can we spend years looking and days debating before embarking? Are the times that contrary or are we too cautious? Why must we be fed up before venturing out?

THE ANATOMY OF GREATNESS (IV)

Some go for it; others yearn for it, yet both hunger.

Anything may not be possible, but more things are possible than we imagine if only we will imagine them fully and seek them daily. For instance, I was unemployed in the early 90's. So, instead of seeking work I decided to create it for myself, which is what real dreamers do daily. My background was in telephone sales, more commonly called, cursed perhaps, as telemarketing. I decided to use this experience to help Greensboro car dealers sell more cars.

After spending a week at the library creating sales literature, I searched the phone book for prospects. My approach was empirical and sophisticated. I used their name as the nexus. If it nudged, I called it. My plan was to take their old customer files --five years or older-- and invite them to test drive the latest model of their previous purchase. We would give them a cheap gift and lavish praise for their opinion. The idea being that dissatisfaction would settle the instant they sat.

Two weeks later I had my first appointment with Bob Dunn Ford. Since I didn't have a car myself, at least one that ran, I borrowed a friend's. After an hour of talking with Mr. Dunn, I left his office with a $3000 check with another $3000 due 90 days later. (I didn't even have an account to deposit the money). Looking back, it seems crazy because he never requested references, identification or anything else substantiating. Maybe my enthusiasm sufficed. Or maybe he was as desperate for change as I was.

Whatever the reason it worked. I also hired two ladies from my church to do the calling, convincing him to pay them from his payroll, which he gladly did. He also provided office space. Meanwhile I busied myself with securing another contract, going by weekly to check on them and to meet with him. I drove a different car each time because I had to use whose ever was available. I'm sure his staff thought I had money. That's how they looked whenever I entered the lot.

Yet I was just spending the social capital I had accrued. Things would have soared if it weren't for Desert Storm, which started shortly after the project. Still, at the end of 90 days Mr. Dunn was pleased with our results though uninterested in renewing our agreement. In fact he furnished a remarkable letter of reference that I used in pursuing other projects. I didn't get one but I did get through what would have been an even tougher time otherwise.