FRIENDSHIP

Take time to take turns refreshing rather than second-guessing if you should.

We assume we know because others show us a part of themselves. We entertain their presence yet without an awareness of who they are. Meanwhile they hear our hearts and console our hurts, concealing their own, enabling us instead to be strong. Yet when they leave they continue to bleed. We meanwhile leave refreshed because they poured salve into our souls. We never consider just how little we return in proportion. One day, however, time will scatter and we will scold ourselves for ignoring. (10/5/09)

TONES AND TURNS

Our tone determines our turn, whether or not it comes.

I'm sitting here on the balcony writing my 21st and 22nd books. (I generally write two at a time). Eighteen and nineteen are finished but unpublished. It's crazy because I write as if I have an awaiting audience, which I don't. But I must write to retain rationality. Still, it's hard, this need to herald myself. It would be easier if I had an audience beyond my parents (and providence), both of whom no longer read, at least the kind of stuff I write. I don't say this from pity but from the perspective of a person who desires deeply to connect, contend even, with others about his thoughts, to see whether they are valid or not. This claim suggests conceit on my part, as if my words are audience-worthy.

Meanwhile, I've read more books in the last nine months than I read all of last year. How many, however, I can't say. I generally read three at a time to keep from being bored. That doesn't mean I'm smart; I'm just smitten by an urge to know, to consume what I can in case Life requires my learning. The goal, though, isn't to be learned but to enlighten others. If I said otherwise, I would be lying. I don't want fame necessarily, just influence broadly because I'm tired of hearing fools use their tools to deceive others. Most of my circle doesn't understand my obsession.

Yet they see its effects daily because of my indifference to conventional interests, sports and entertainment especially. If they cared as much about themselves as they do about Michael Vick or Michael Jackson, their lives would be majestic! I'm probably being too harsh but I can't help it. Besides, we're all aging, which should be reason enough to make us embrace our neglected aspirations.

If rappers can curse their way to the top, surely we can commit ourselves until we achieve similarly. For me, that means provoking thought and providing guidance through my words. My life isn't exemplary, conventionally speaking. But I do believe that I can help others. Yet I watch daily as vulgarity dons stages constructed creatively by modern technology, cable and satellite television preeminently. I want the same opportunity to be heard, even if only to be rejected. Presently, however, I'm being rejected on the principle of obscurity; encouraged meanwhile by a defiant sense of destiny! Most people with common sense would have quit by now. I've tried but I can't.

TODAY

Today is seldom as exciting as we imagine, at least in passing. But when we look back we react differently to what it brought, unless we were caught in too many cares. If so, we dismiss its value and refuse to hallow it rightly. The challenge is to embrace what it brings, learning to sing despite ourselves.

THE SECRET TO SUCCESS

Success and patience are partners.

The "chance of a lifetime" often comes in moments, yet without the magic we imagine. But this doesn't mean that moments don't matter. They do, we just have to get better at managing these. We do so by honoring our tasks and developing our talents, though these are crude and undeveloped. What matters, however, is our commitment. If we stay committed, we eventually develop our endowments. Unfortunately, however, most people are too impatient with themselves. So, they look for magic rather than honor moments as they pass. Others want a guarantee that they will succeed before they began. Both groups fail because they aren't willing to sail unconcerned, trusting themselves to the unseen, which is the source of all success.

HOW MUCH

Hiking requires hubris occasionally to end successfully.

How much space separates you from your place? Have you measured or are you maligned and disinclined to consider? If so, circumstances will conspire to convince you that your desire is impossible. To this claim, however, you should be hostile.

FACTORY FEATURES

Twilight is the first light that flashes when change beckons.

Caution isn’t a feature installed at the factory. We aren’t born equipped to be inclined. We incline because we lean in this direction. Then, however, the goal of life becomes protection. Meanwhile we blame nature for endowing. Nature, however, is risky and reckless, contemptuous of protection because it knows that life must be spent to be preserved. Else we lose our will to live.

BEYOND BLAME

“Beyond” cons some and compels others.

Beyond blame we learn that others are the same as ourselves –fearful and vulnerable- capable and competitive inevitably. Blame blinds us to our kinship and to these qualities. Thus we create unnecessary hostilities. Eventually, though, blame fails and communities form on its remains. Otherwise humanity couldn’t be sustained.