The Long Way Home...

If we were candid, we would admit that we were handed more than we deserve.

Life has been incalculably hard since Debra was torn from my side. I never knew just how much on her I relied. But each day I see how I've lost my way since she's been gone. In fact, I've never felt so idle and alone. It's crazy how daily things appear, which I didn't see when she was here. But they appear nonetheless, and make me face what I never thought I would --the struggle to find a new love.

Doing so is hard because I'm an introvert, except for when I'm doing my work. But if I'm not speaking or teaching, it's hard for me to be outgoing. But I'm going to have to be if I want to be with someone else. Life is too long to live by myself. Plus, Bruce Springsteen was right when he wrote, "Everybody's Got a Hungry Heart." Listening to his music inspires and sparks. But whenever I consider approaching someone, I talk myself out of it. It's not that I lack confidence; I'm just conscious of all that comes with a relationship. 

Plus, I'm seeking someone special. Everyone is, I guess. At least that's what they say before they settle. Nothing's wrong with settling if you can live with it. But doing so makes it hard to live with yourself. At least that's how I felt when I used to settle for failure. But I hated that feeling more than anything else because I expect more of myself. I want more for others also. So, I wouldn't want anyone to settle for me. On the contrary, I want to be as special to them as they are to me. So, I've spent the last two and a half years in neutral gears, parking yet peeking at prospects. 

I also registered with a few dating sights from instinct. But I don't look at them because they don't sync with my soul. I'm not against them; they just aren't for me. So I keep asking God to lead me accordingly, until I find someone compatibly. Meanwhile some days are maddening because of not having anyone to share them with. I'd probably be dead if I didn't have a purpose and a gift. These keep me going when I find myself rowing towards the edge. Still, it's as if I'm taking the long way home.

Stepping into Greatness

Our lives are too large to be scarred by failure indefinitely.

 Greatness demands a commitment so authentic that most of us fear making it. So we accept less than we desire only to admire those whose commitment is authentic. This doesn’t mean everyone begins with greatness in mind. But it does mean that greatness is ingrained in our souls and native to ourselves. Unfortunately, however, most of us weren’t raised in climates wherein greatness was a requirement. Even so, we can still commit to its achievement rather than being cheated by circumstances.

In the Beginning

          The first step is to step outside what we believe is possible for ourselves. We do this by developing a vision that inspires a discipline to do what we routinely avoid. In this regard, discipline isn’t a choice. We all have it and employ it daily. What matters, however, is its direction. If we can work 40 hours a week, we can do likewise when what we seek is worth having. We know its worth instinctively but are discouraged continually by the time it will take to realize our dreams. So we realize schemes that keep us distracted instead. Greatness, however, requires us to use our discipline towards our dreams despite delays and distractions. If we can do this we assist ourselves greatly.

Stepping in to Greatness

          The second step to achieving greatness is to stop seeking guarantees because these grieve when greatness fails. Moreover, if guarantees were possible we would wrestle until we wrested greatness. Hence the importance of planning, patience and perseverance. These offer the only guarantees possible. Everything else is radically contingent however we spin it. This thought should thrill rather than chill. It thrills when we maintain our zeal by respecting ourselves enough to give our all though we fall repeatedly. This respect often resembles insanity. Yet we must be missing a few screws to be enthused when reasons lack and results indict our efforts.

Dessert Time!

          The final step to achieving greatness requires us to embrace our worthiness. In fact, we must develop a sense of entitlement to survive the entanglements we encounter in route. This sense of dessert is underwritten by work. We do this work independent of circumstances. Too many of us enthrone circumstances. Yet we readily cite the resolve of others despite circumstances. Our references indict unless we excite ourselves similarly by deeming ourselves as worthy. These simple steps can help us step closer to greatness.

 

EASY

 

It’s easy to be easy on ourselves. But with each stroke we forfeit our hopes and break our hearts, diminishing also our flame and spark. Those who excel give themselves hell, metaphorically speaking, lest they be content with average. Their idea of easy makes it hard for them to stroke themselves. They aren’t reckless but they are relentless.

 

OUR CONTRIBUTIONS

 

OUR CONTRIBUTIONS

Our contributions are often invisible but this doesn’t mean that they aren’t valuable. Unfortunately, however, ours is an age wherein value is valid only when it is known, professionally especially.

So, we obsess over who gets the credit rather than on making the contribution that we should, sharing ourselves freely to help others with achieving their goals.

Doing so makes sense; it also makes society insatiable and insensitive to those whose efforts aren't announced on the news or in the next company bulletin.

Unless these souls are strong they will get the sense that they don’t belong or that their contributions don’t matter.

To prevent this, we should be diligent in discovering those hidden heroes whose actions enhance organizational life. They remain unsung only because they are unsought.

As leaders, managers and persons, our job is to promote others and to provoke greatness in all of its degrees. In doing so, we strengthen relationships, energize organizations and encourage these hidden heroes to contribute without feeling unappreciated.

Make it your task to find one today!

PAUSE, CAN YOU?

 

 

Sometimes we must pause, retracting the claws we use to climb towards success, embracing the moment without design or distress. Otherwise we will continue to be anxious and thankless, annoyed daily and hard unnecessarily on ourselves. Unfortunately, however, most of us confuse pausing with passivity.

So we work without rest thinking that doing so will help us to accomplish our goals faster. Yet this logic is toxic, personally, emotionally and relationally, leaving our spouses to wonder and our children to watch as we work ourselves out of meaningful relationships with them because of an undisciplined desire to provide for them.

Moreover, in refusing to pause we forfeit the power of renewal, which would help us achieve our goals by giving us greater clarity and more energy for our tasks. Yet we choose to labor beleaguered by fatigue because of some misguided notion of self-determination. It’s okay to be determined, driven, even, but neither annuls the need to be renewed, to pause and reflect rather than to push and act indefinitely (often detrimentally).

In this regard, pausing isn’t passivity, complacency or indifference. It simply means that we recognize the need to suspend our efforts without accusing ourselves of abandoning them. Besides, we won’t arrive any faster than we do no matter how we construe our efforts. So, relax, reflect and let time do what only it can. Your loved ones will be glad you did!

 

THE END!

 

Though most of us won’t admit it, we are secretly inhibited (and anxious) about our end, desiring to know when it will end. Maybe that’s why we lose ourselves setting goals and courting greatness. Beyond the natural need to nurture our time and talents, we also do so to help maintain our balance, which is more elusive than we admit.

Even so, we are deeply concerned about our end; not, however, simply about the outcome of our efforts but more so about what happens when life has left us. This concern inspired existentialism, fatalism and every other historical ism. It also inspired the wisdom of the sages as revealed through the ages. A sense of mortality instinctively produces such when we allow it to touch us in ways we routinely deny and ignore.

Then we ask ourselves, “What am I doing this for?” Though rhetorical, this question is also rewarding because it forces us to fix our gaze beyond the ways we devise to achieve our goals and the privileges we hope to gain when we succeed. Thus, some people pursue religion for answers; others pursue pleasure instead, seeking to silence the interrogations that inspired Kierkegaard’s dread.

Even so, we want to know about our end, when it will end. Some of us may even want to know how and where it will end. To deny this inquiry as natural is to make detachment inevitable. How can we rightly relate to others when we are indifferent to ourselves about what matters most? In fact the quality of our lives is determined by the degree to which we have embraced our mortality.

Unfortunately, some people become ruthless and aimless in response. Others become ambitious and obsessed. Yet no goal or gain can censor mortality whether or not we respond. The time will come when we will be disarmed and must answer or perhaps ask, as did the Psalmist, “O’ Lord, help me to understand my mortality and the brevity of my live! Let me realize how quickly it will end.” (39:4)

Unlike many of us, William Shakespeare refused to ignore or deny the sovereignty of mortality. In fact he confessed, perhaps as an antidote, “I have immortal longings in me.” Maybe Shakespeare’s willingness to confront his mortality immortalized his writings. Maybe that’s why he was able to embed creatively what he couldn’t embody existentially. Maybe our work would be more enduring if we weren’t in denial about our mortality. Maybe we could increase our force if it were rightly faced.

Aptly embraced, legacies and legends result, depending upon our influence. But even if we never achieve this status, our lives will be more authentic because we confronted our mortality. Maybe facing it would make us more cheerful and charitable also. If we understood just how quickly our lives do end, no matter how long we live, maybe we would be the difference that makes the difference in the lives of others before nature pulls the covers.

 

CLOSE...

 

Things get easier as we keep aiming towards our goals. It may not seem like it because we aren't always as clear as we imagine on what these are. We generally have more ideas than we do exacts. Ideas get us started but exacts keep us going (and committed). They also enable us to accelerate our pace, and to recognize our place when we reach it.

Consider, for example, driving to a destination, maybe even somewhere you've been before but you aren't exactly sure of where it is. You have a general idea instead, enough to convince you to get in your car and drive. After a while you find yourself in the vicinity but not at your destiny (destination).

Thus, you may feel anxious or excited or even annoyed because you know you are close. You even have a strong idea of where you are but you aren’t where you want to be. Hence the importance of clarity, whether in driving cars or pursuing goals. Here we see clearly the difference between exacts and ideas. Our success is routinely determined by our degree of clarity regarding our goals and dreams. Without clarity we occupy the vicinity but don't reach the destiny we desire.

Today, so many people are vexed by vagueness and victims of the indefinite. They lack the ability to say clearly what they want. Of course this doesn’t mean that they can’t succeed because they can. In fact, sometimes in being too precise we miss opportunities when they emerge because we lack the urge to pursue them, especially if they contradict our conceptions.

Generally, however, clarity is a prerequisite for success. We must be able to express clearly what we desire deeply. In this regard, failure to achieve is often a failure of clarity. Clarity is the ability to express clearly our goals without being clouded or constrained by contingencies. If we can’t express this to ourselves, we will have trouble expressing it to others also, which will hinder their ability to help us.

That’s why it’s important to take time to ask ourselves, “What am I really after; what are my true goals.” Answering this anchors us in our pursuits. It also increases our confidence and changes how others experience us. Clarity enables us to be decisive and assertive rather than tentative and timid. Consider again how we drive when we aren’t sure of where we are or where we are going. In these instances, having an idea isn’t the same as having an exact, practically or emotionally.

Clarity, however, isn’t something we get once and for all. On the contrary, it accrues over time as we take time to assess where we are and what we want. Otherwise we will get in the vicinity without reaching our destiny as we desire.

 

 

 

WHAT ARE YOU COMMITTED TO?

    What are you committed to? When all is said and assessed, what desire has possessed you so that you are willing to go to the end to realize it? Do you have such a passion? Do you dream such  dreams? If not, why not? What would you do if you truly believed in you the way you say? Would you be living the same life as you are today? If so, that’s okay. Still, it’s good for us to ask ourselves, what are we committed to. In doing so, we maintain our priorities rather than adopting those imposed from the outside. More importantly, we renew our strength and resolve to invent ways to achieve our goals, whether personal or professional. So, as you go about your day today, take time to ask yourself, “What am I committed to.” In answering this you take risks consistent with your aspirations, which is the prerequisite for living a life of greatness! Enjoy: http://youtu.be/sI7kabeZqzY

3 STEPS TO LIVING A LIFE OF GREATNESS

     All of us are fascinated by greatness whatever its form, sports, entertainment and even gardening! We love to see people doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways. We feel likewise when seeing extraordinary things being done in extraordinary ways. Something about the sight stirs our senses and provokes remembrances of when we entertained visions of our own greatness.  The good news is that you still have time to design a life of greatness if you are willing. You might not be able to achieve that NBA dream but you can do something that will pique your passion so that you can stop rehashing what might have been.

     The first step to living a life of greatness is to simply DECIDE that this is what you are going to do. Simple as it sounds, many people haven’t decided to live a life of greatness. They talk about it and are enamored by it but they never decide to commit to its pursuit. Characteristically, they are great fans but poorly focused when it comes to their dreams. The problem, however, isn’t a lack of focus but rather indecision. Once you decide, focus comes; plans form and magic follows provided you stay committed. Do it now and you will see how things change.

     The second step to living a life of greatness is DESIGN. You have to design what greatness looks like for you, not what someone else designs for you. Design is the art of greatness which, by the way, is just as important as the science. The great thing about design is that it’s so liberating. In fact design allows you to reflect (and promote) your quirks and your competencies –your unique lifestyle-- which becomes a life-statement of who you are. So, it’s okay to collect ideas, just as you would when furnishing a house or accessorizing your home.  But ultimately you must decide what your design will include, no matter how eccentric. Ignore naysayers because everything is impossible until it's done!

The final step to living a life of greatness is to DARE. You must dare to believe that your dreams of greatness are not only possible but that you are responsible for their fulfillment. This doesn’t mean that you have to stress but you should strive daily for success. Daring, moreover, shouldn’t be draining but charming instead because you never know what will happen as you go forward. That’s what makes life exciting! That’s what makes greatness fascinating. That’s why each of us pauses whenever greatness appears from some unlikely place. These achievers, DECIDED, DESIGNED and DARED to live a life of greatness. You can too; decide today to commit your way to living a life of greatness.

 

BE PASSIONATELY PATIENT AS YOU ARE MAKING IT HAPPENI

The Diffidence of Greatness

It's difficult not to be diffident amid despair. But that's when we must believe that we will get there, though for now how eludes and life elects to deny our progress. Even so, we must continue to go in the direction of our dream. In doing so, we diminish the sting of failure and the nagging "whether" that makes us wonder if we will ever succeed. Yet then more than ever we must believe. Doing so is better than quitting, all things considered.

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3NLjUDRFnUjIdn_BF2IECQ?feature=mhee

GARNERING GREATNESS

    

     Greatness is exhausting. So it's normal to get discouraged when days fail to deliver what we envision for ourselves. Then more than ever we are tempted to resign our pursuit. In doing so, however, we are allowing inevitable delays and dilemmas to bring our passion to a simmer rather than keeping it inflamed. That's why it's important for us to gain the right perspective regarding our endeavors. Unfortunately, however, most people under-estimate just what it takes to be great.

     They routinely assume talent to be sufficient, at least until they discover that it isn't. Success at acheiving greatness also demands that we monitor our attitude. In this regard, we must be willing to fail repeatedly without being defeated or becoming indifferent toward our dreams. That's one of the things winners do that others don't. Others tend to focus exclusively on outcomes. They fail to develop the insight necessary for greatness. Outcomes matter but they are routinely contrary to what we envision for ourselves. Thus, we should strive to control our attitudes when we can't control our outcomes. If we focus on doing this, outcomes will change inevitably as we adjust accordingly to practical demands.

     If we want to garner greatness we must make acommitment to ourselves to manage our attitude. In doing so, we are creating a climate of greatness for ourselves. Moreover, we must find joy in the moment by occasionally stepping away from our efforts to appreciate other aspects of our lives. We must use undesirable outcomes to deepen our insight on into ourselves, our circumstances and what we truly envision. In doing so, we will find ourselves refreshed, empowered and better able to garner greatness!

THE FEW

The road to succes is narrow and long

Many begin the journey but few press on,

Along its paths are many who have fallen

Whose goal slipped away along with their calling.

 

Yet for those small few who are willing to plod

Who believe in the dream because they believe in God,

Those who will persist when the outcome appears bleak,

Remaining calm even amid adversity's heat,

These are they who are destined to reach

Life's highest mountain and scale its peak.

SILENCE PLEASE!

     Who do you call when desire gnaws and time stalls, indifferent to your desire despite the fire that inflames? What do you do when you’ve said your prayers (and a few swears) yet things remain and desire pains beyond expression? Have you ever experienced this depression, the kind that cuts, carves and consumes leaving nothing but more room for itself? Do you know what it’s like to spend your life waiting for the knife to be pulled from your back or trying to find a way to extract the desire that drives you on? If not, you can’t understand when greatness groans. On the contrary, you are apt to confuse its angst with an unwillingness to give thanks for all things. Perhaps this is true of some people. But there are those that, after they’ve exhausted gratitude, they still remain undone and prone to brood. What do you tell these? Do you have the words to ease what aches? If not, be thou silent in the presence of the great though they have yet to make their appearance or gain clearance to ascend as they intend.

If we don't fulfill our promise we owe others an apology.

        If we thought the impossible were so, life would cease. Yet none of us believes in the impossible.  We acknowledge it but we don’t believe in it. To believe in the impossible is to reject our passion. Yet our passion stirs us nightly and sustains us daily. The moment we believe in the impossible life passes. Only by rejecting its myth do we master.

A GOALIE OR A ROADIE

Are you a goalie or a roadie? Are you guarding your dream or running from things that would help you to accomplish these? How do you stand the tease, the tears, the irrational fears that keep your feet moving and desire brooding for fulfillment? That's what I wonder when I sit in the window looking at others peeking around corners trying to escape opportunities that are unique and designed especially for them. Yet they refuse to embrace, let alone guard them. They prefer instead to travel along paths that are dim. Metaphorically, they are roadies who lack the boldness to pursue their dreams.

SAY WHAT

What have you done that makes you feel as if you deserve a place in the sun? What have you given; how much have you grieved? Do you know what it is to hope against hope, still choosing to believe? Does being a fan make you feel like "the man" or "the woman?" When others are sleep, greatness are you wooing? If not, you will always clap and yap about other people; then in the same breath proclaim that we are all created equal.

THE ROAD

The road we travel often baffles because we chart unwisely and short-sightedly. We do so because we imagine that our directions are synonymous with perfection, at least until we get lost. Then we realize that maps and markers are often harder to read than we imagine. In this regard, the GPS to success often fails to help us in our quest. Thus we must be willing to travel blindly trusting kindly in the goodness of fortune while be willing to hearken to whatever help we can receive in route. Otherwise we will pout and complain at the pain of being detained in our pursuit. If this weren't so, success' road would be empty because each traveler would have fulfilled her destiny. Yet the fact that she hasn't proves that we are given to assuming more than we should about just how good our maps are. If, however, we persist we will arrive eventually.

A MOMENT

Take a moment to take the matter that is most pressing, and apply yourself to discern its lesson. In doing so, barriers drop and opportunities crop unsolicited. This, in part, is how "they did it."

ON BREEZES

You will if you can. It's all about the demand you make on yourself. Otherwise you will dream yourself to death, only to discover that every other person who eventually acheived stayed committed even when the breeze blew them over. The only difference is that they refused to surrender.

KNOWLEDGE AND COURAGE

Knowledge and courage are incompatible if we are hyper-rational. Then we know too much and risk too little because of our reliance upon knowledge, which limits the range of our courage. This doesn't make ignorance bliss but it does make us bold if we understand the difference between the two.