The Long Way Home...

If we were candid, we would admit that we were handed more than we deserve.

Life has been incalculably hard since Debra was torn from my side. I never knew just how much on her I relied. But each day I see how I've lost my way since she's been gone. In fact, I've never felt so idle and alone. It's crazy how daily things appear, which I didn't see when she was here. But they appear nonetheless, and make me face what I never thought I would --the struggle to find a new love.

Doing so is hard because I'm an introvert, except for when I'm doing my work. But if I'm not speaking or teaching, it's hard for me to be outgoing. But I'm going to have to be if I want to be with someone else. Life is too long to live by myself. Plus, Bruce Springsteen was right when he wrote, "Everybody's Got a Hungry Heart." Listening to his music inspires and sparks. But whenever I consider approaching someone, I talk myself out of it. It's not that I lack confidence; I'm just conscious of all that comes with a relationship. 

Plus, I'm seeking someone special. Everyone is, I guess. At least that's what they say before they settle. Nothing's wrong with settling if you can live with it. But doing so makes it hard to live with yourself. At least that's how I felt when I used to settle for failure. But I hated that feeling more than anything else because I expect more of myself. I want more for others also. So, I wouldn't want anyone to settle for me. On the contrary, I want to be as special to them as they are to me. So, I've spent the last two and a half years in neutral gears, parking yet peeking at prospects. 

I also registered with a few dating sights from instinct. But I don't look at them because they don't sync with my soul. I'm not against them; they just aren't for me. So I keep asking God to lead me accordingly, until I find someone compatibly. Meanwhile some days are maddening because of not having anyone to share them with. I'd probably be dead if I didn't have a purpose and a gift. These keep me going when I find myself rowing towards the edge. Still, it's as if I'm taking the long way home.

Leading Beyond Recognition

          
Our work has value beyond our desire for recognition. Its worth is innate when we take time to do our best amid the rush of life. This alone gives it merit though we've yet to merit others regard. Conceiving our work so deceives many of us because the desire for recognition bewitches. It also robs us of the joy of creation.

 Beyond Recognition

           Thus, we are routinely moody about things that are ultimately beyond our control. Paradoxically, a desire for praise empowers and impoverishes together because we can't garner it, enough at least to ease our angst. If we aren’t careful, we will devalue our work when we are ignored. Acknowledged, however, we are ignited. Conquering this conundrum requires us to affirm our work (and worth) without recognition. Only in doing so can we overcome custom.

 Beyond Custom

           We are conditioned by custom to view recognition as proof of merit. Discouraged by clicks, how often do we exist in professional purgatory because others ignore our work and its worth? How often do we consider quitting because we aren't getting the hits we imagine, which we use to establish a pattern of success?

 Passion Beyond Patterns

           These patterns matter but they shouldn't maim when they are missing from our lives. During these times, we must affirm emphatically the worth of our work. We must also reject the portrait of persecuted genius --the kind common to artists. Rather than being insulted by others indifference, we should work without regard for the regard we’ve yet to gain, convinced that our work has merit though we aren't raved and recognized.

GETTING TO YES!

A book entitled, Getting to Yes, appeared several years ago. It focused on the art and science of negotiation, and how to make beneficial compromises as we each pursue our peculiar aims. As used in this article, however, getting to yes implies mastering the steps needed to experience the greatness deeded in your soul. Once you do this, you experience the bliss of an unmuffled yes! As simple as it sounds, to get to yes you must first say YES to yourself and your dreams.

So many people are wedged between no and maybe instead. They lack the certainty that characterizes destiny. Destiny is the belief that your yes is your right to succeed and not just a wish to do so. If, however, you haven’t said yes to yourself and your dreams, uncertainty will stifle and you will stumble in getting started and in staying committed till the end. The way you get to yes is to not second-guess yourself or your right to success. This is much different from second-guessing your methods, your means and your maneuvers.

Unless you are omniscient you must change these routinely, sometimes remarkably, for various reasons. Second-guessing as it relates to tactics and strategy are part of the anatomy of greatness. It becomes detrimental, however, when you second-guess yourself. Hence the need to examine your assessments and assumptions, making sure you get to yes and stay there as it relates to your belief in your right to success and greatness. The key is in being decisive and convinced without bowing to contingents.

Things will happen, plans will fail and people will change their minds about you. You, however, shouldn’t change your mind about yourself. Once you get to yes by agreeing with yourself, stay there! Whenever you find yourself feeling anxious and uncertain, don’t let these feelings push you into no and maybe regarding your dreams. Second-guess your tactics and strategy when necessary but not your right to and belief in your ability to achieve your dreams. In doing so, you make better and more beneficial compromises with other and yourself.

 

3 STEPS TO LIVING A LIFE OF GREATNESS

     All of us are fascinated by greatness whatever its form, sports, entertainment and even gardening! We love to see people doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways. We feel likewise when seeing extraordinary things being done in extraordinary ways. Something about the sight stirs our senses and provokes remembrances of when we entertained visions of our own greatness.  The good news is that you still have time to design a life of greatness if you are willing. You might not be able to achieve that NBA dream but you can do something that will pique your passion so that you can stop rehashing what might have been.

     The first step to living a life of greatness is to simply DECIDE that this is what you are going to do. Simple as it sounds, many people haven’t decided to live a life of greatness. They talk about it and are enamored by it but they never decide to commit to its pursuit. Characteristically, they are great fans but poorly focused when it comes to their dreams. The problem, however, isn’t a lack of focus but rather indecision. Once you decide, focus comes; plans form and magic follows provided you stay committed. Do it now and you will see how things change.

     The second step to living a life of greatness is DESIGN. You have to design what greatness looks like for you, not what someone else designs for you. Design is the art of greatness which, by the way, is just as important as the science. The great thing about design is that it’s so liberating. In fact design allows you to reflect (and promote) your quirks and your competencies –your unique lifestyle-- which becomes a life-statement of who you are. So, it’s okay to collect ideas, just as you would when furnishing a house or accessorizing your home.  But ultimately you must decide what your design will include, no matter how eccentric. Ignore naysayers because everything is impossible until it's done!

The final step to living a life of greatness is to DARE. You must dare to believe that your dreams of greatness are not only possible but that you are responsible for their fulfillment. This doesn’t mean that you have to stress but you should strive daily for success. Daring, moreover, shouldn’t be draining but charming instead because you never know what will happen as you go forward. That’s what makes life exciting! That’s what makes greatness fascinating. That’s why each of us pauses whenever greatness appears from some unlikely place. These achievers, DECIDED, DESIGNED and DARED to live a life of greatness. You can too; decide today to commit your way to living a life of greatness.

 

BE PASSIONATELY PATIENT AS YOU ARE MAKING IT HAPPENI

The Diffidence of Greatness

It's difficult not to be diffident amid despair. But that's when we must believe that we will get there, though for now how eludes and life elects to deny our progress. Even so, we must continue to go in the direction of our dream. In doing so, we diminish the sting of failure and the nagging "whether" that makes us wonder if we will ever succeed. Yet then more than ever we must believe. Doing so is better than quitting, all things considered.

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DISCOVER IT!

 

 

 

It's hard to lift the burden when you're it.

     Making a difference begins with discovering our destiny. Until then we make a mess trying to make amends, collecting enemies and disgusting friends.

THE FEW

The road to succes is narrow and long

Many begin the journey but few press on,

Along its paths are many who have fallen

Whose goal slipped away along with their calling.

 

Yet for those small few who are willing to plod

Who believe in the dream because they believe in God,

Those who will persist when the outcome appears bleak,

Remaining calm even amid adversity's heat,

These are they who are destined to reach

Life's highest mountain and scale its peak.

DENSITY AND DESTINY

You must be porous to hear the chorus that calls some to greatness. Those who can't ignore its chant, being deaf to music.

         

          You have to be dense to do what makes no sense, especially when you do it at your own expense because inwardly you are convinced that you are being spent in Destiny’s service. Thus nights find you working and days find you nervous because your only resource is a fund of courage that renews itself without your help (or permission), compelling you thus to pursue the vision. Meanwhile others behave as if you don’t exist. Those that are aware often stare stymied because you keep aligning yourself with the unseen with no guarantee that you will succeed.

          In your defense you erect a fence between their doubts and your own even as you are driven to labor to manifest a greatness that only you believe in enough to invest despite the stress and ridicule. The only consolation is that you have now become indifferent when, in referring to you, others whisper, “fool.” Instead you flash a half-smile because you too have turned this stile in an effort to turn away from what consumes your days and command your nights. Not even God is the consolation that religion excites. Yet HHe is the Source of Destiny’s summons.

          He’s also the reason your friends start running when they see you coming. It isn’t because you solicit money or anything else. You just sometimes need help believing in yourself. But it seldom happens, so you keep hoping and working that Destiny is certain, and that you aren’t deceived. Yet in reviewing the lives of the great similar parallels you perceive. That’s what makes it hard just to discard the time you’ve invested and to discount the ways you’ve been tested. So, you just vow to die until you are ushered into eternity away from time. At least it can’t be said that you denied your allegiance to the thing that kneaded itself in your soul.

OUR RESPONSIBILITY

"When the heart is hurting God is speaking."

When you encounter abuse how does it make you feel? Do you silently question, wondering if God us real? If so, you've yet to grasp your responsibility because circumstances should not impeach God's existence or limit our compassion. We should ponder rather our relation to Him and to our immediate circle. How much injustice fills this? How aware are we of others struggles? If their plights elude, how can we slander God? If we don't confront what we can, how can we confront what we can't? Our complaints are only valid when we get involved. Otherwise they deceive though they enrage. Yet rage alone fails; only action frees. The responsibility for changing the world rests with us, not with its Author. God created the world, not its abuses.

THE MIDDLE

Things always muddle in the middle. But if you keep walking, enduring the dangers (and daggers), you'll emerge with a swagger self-redeeming. Then others will pay to see your wounds, even those who doubt your win.

THE ROAD

The road we travel often baffles because we chart unwisely and short-sightedly. We do so because we imagine that our directions are synonymous with perfection, at least until we get lost. Then we realize that maps and markers are often harder to read than we imagine. In this regard, the GPS to success often fails to help us in our quest. Thus we must be willing to travel blindly trusting kindly in the goodness of fortune while be willing to hearken to whatever help we can receive in route. Otherwise we will pout and complain at the pain of being detained in our pursuit. If this weren't so, success' road would be empty because each traveler would have fulfilled her destiny. Yet the fact that she hasn't proves that we are given to assuming more than we should about just how good our maps are. If, however, we persist we will arrive eventually.

SO MUCH TO DO

We have so much to do and not enough time. This at least is the loser's whine. But those who truly have something to do refuse to let time rule. Instead they do by minutes what others avoid by intention, because instinctively they lack the ambition success requires and diligence describes. Ask the great about how small were the steps they had to take before they triumphed. In failing this pattern, we make ourselves liars concerning our dreams.

ON BEING PLIABLE

We must be pliable to be liable for success. In being rigid we are apt to stiffen when we should bend instead. Hence, the importance of passion which, rightly managed, enables us to maneuver accordingly without, however, forfeiting our integrity.

ON SEEING

We see more than we admit yet often pursue less than we desire. Some people refrain because the claims of success are too demanding, according to their standards. Others ignore because they aren't sure of themselves. Even so, we still see whether or not we seize accordingly.

TOO MUCH ENERGY

We have too much energy, more in fact than we need. Else we wouldn't desire to do the exceptional deed, by which it would be drained and we would gain a new image of ourselves. Presently, however, our endeavors neither demand greatness nor reveal our uniqueness. We get by instead as if we are bred all the same, with nothing significant to distinguish our frame. http://www.joelbryant1.com/

ON CROWDS

Shallow is the marrow of most bones.

Those who would astound must not be found in the crowd, because most people are so fickle that all they can do is tickle mutual fears. (www.joelbryant1.com

ON TRANSITION

When we get stuck in transition we become transients, wandering the streets and enduring the strokes of those who escaped. (www.joelbryant1.com )

GETTING THROUGH TODAY...

If you can get through today with all of its weight, you can win tomorrow despite the sorrow that threatens or the desires that are waiting to be fulfilled. If you don't, someone else will. It's not that they're better than you. They're just more willing to do what it takes to out-wait the cycles of success, which none can rush.

THE STRONG

The strong survive because they insist on life. They are strong moreover because they discover that the secret is in letting weakness nurture strength, not accuse it. Thus they accept their limits without being inhibited thereby. Instead, they pursue what they desire and endure the ire of circumstances. 'Tis by this that they make their advances.

THE AGE OF ARTHUR

In our will to rule we waste and ruin.

Our age yet awaits its Arthur, a king so keen that he can not only extract Excalibur but also exalt humanity simultaneously. We have sought vainly politically. It has the words but not the will to redeem, especially if redemption benefits universally. It would rather palaver than pull the sword, being bound by allegiances too narrow to hold. Even so, the age awaits Arthur's emergence and groans daily for his appearance. Many contend, and even more pretend because they know instinctively their hypocrisy. Yet the opportunity entices. Afterwards, however, Excalibur remains and they leave with sore hands. Even then, however, the age awaits. It can do no less if it would survive. (http://www.joelbryant1.com/ )